kaidi's world

WSC

2012-01-27T14:08:00.003+08:00

Went for CCA ytd, felt a sense of achievement. For a teacher, the greatest achievement is not only seeing the students doing well in their studies, but seeing the passion in them.

2 weeks ago, i was teaching this sec 1 gal. Last week, cause i was having a headache, so i didn't attend cca...and, right on that night, the gal fb msg...and asked if i can teach her the following week. I felt a tinge of joy in me. Even though its just a mini request, it meant something big to me. It means that she likes the way i teach and she is able to understand what i was teaching her. And is exactly what i hope to achieve. :D:D

Wad do you want?

2012-01-05T15:41:00.004+08:00

Have you ever asked yourself these questions?
1. What am i doing on earth?
2. What is my purpose in life?
3. Why was i born?
4. What am i born to be?
5. What do i want?
I am not sure if many of us have thought about these? Perhaps, most of us are just living our life as it is? Just do what has been arranged for us and just live our life as it is? At least, in Singapore? Almost everything has been pre-arranged. The typical route...study...uni/poly...graduate...work...have a family...bring up your kids and hope that they will be great achievers...and grow old...

Yea..perhaps? That is how we are arranged to live? But, isn't that a boring life? Everything pre-arranged just seem boring, cliche to me. Kinda meaningless? Its not that i wanna achieve something BIG, but something that at least make me feel that i didn't waste my life when i am about to bid goodbye to the world.

I guess, this is where your goals, aspirations, ambitions come into place?
What do i want to achieve?
If i were to ask kids, they might probably say, i want to be a superman. I want to be ultraman, powerpuff girls...Yea...fantasy. But, at least, its a beautiful dream.
If i were to ask the teens, some might say 'i don't know', some might say 'I aspire to be a doctor/lawyer/accountant...' yea...dreams...And in order to fulfill their dreams, the only way to them is to study real hard and achieve great results. Good. At least, they have a goal to work towards.
Well, primary school-->secondary school-->JC/poly/ITE--> Uni.
Well, for some people, they are still working very very hard when they are in uni. Put in their 101% in studying...and get oblivious to their surroundings...cause to them, they just want to achieve a great set of results. Nothing's wrong with that. To me, other than achieving a great set of results...i feel that i need to do something. Yea...student's primary job is to study hard and achieve great results. But, as i grow older, perception change. Although i am still trying to fulfill my primary role, i still feel kinda empty on the inside. This feel makes me feel that other than living the cliche life, i want something different. Something that i want to achieve that makes me feel that my life on earth is worth my lifespan.

What do i want? Good question. I am still searching for the answer.
I don't want to get too obsessed with my studies and work until i have lost myself. I have friends who sees studies soooo important that i feel that they have lost themselves? Well, nothing wrong with that too...but i don't want that. I need to acheive something.

I want to help. I want to have the capability in all aspects to help those in need. Let's not talk about being so ambitious about helping those in poverty. Cause that really requires a great lot of manpower and the 'root of all evil'. Lets talk about people around me. I want to help my uncle. I want to help my grandaunt. I want to help my loved ones. I want to see smiles on their faces. I want them to know that being happy is something that anyone can achieve. It just depends on your mindset. What you tell yourself! Being contented is a route to happiness. Be thankful for what you have. Rejoice over what is around you! Do not pity yourself! For you are very fortunate as compared to the rest, and for that fact alone, you should be contented and happy. Do not resent. Do not bear grudges. For being angry at others is a punishment to yourself. :D

If possible, i want to help the old people who have been abandoned. Everyone deserves to be loved. No matter u are rich/ poor, old/young, healthy/ill, you deserve to be loved. I hope that everyone will still remember that, whatever might happens...there is still love & warmth. Do not feel dejected. Instead, learn to love yourself more...be happy...and smile. I also wish that there are more people who are willing to spread the love, to those who really need it :D

It will be ideal if i have the capability to do a part for those living in poverty. Its not their choice to live in those kinda situation, so, while its within our means, i would hope to help them. Also, i hope that those rich people will be able to share the love to them too. :)

Yea...i guess, most of my dreams/wishes/hopes will have to fall back to the 'root of evil'. I agree that i really need to have the financial ability in order to fulfill all these. But, money isn't everything. I don't want to work FOR money and be the slave of money! Its not always about the $! There are alot of people who start doing evil for money! What's the point? Isn't it very tiring? I really pity those people, for they are too blinded to enjoy the beautiful things in life. So, point to be made, do not be the slave of money! Not everything is about money...

Realisation

2011-12-30T22:32:00.006+08:00

3 days in Ipoh really did make me realised a lot of things.

It really pierced my heart when i was looking at how fragile and thin she was. Naturally, tears just swelled up in my eyes although i know that i shouldn't!! I tried very very hard to fight back my tears. I really thought that i was stonger than this, but i was wrong. It really hurts. I tried to hide my tears from everyone else, and i guess the only one who saw those tears in my eyes was her.

She is really thin.(understatement) I could barely find any meat in her. Everyone else was apalled. And they all didn't know what to do. So we all just stood by her bedside. I don't know why and how...but it came to me so naturally that i just went ahead to stroke her head. I couldn't speak, cause i know that if i did, my voice would give me away. I just continued stroking her head and hoping that it could give her comfort, and make her feel more at ease. I guess it worked. Cause, soon after, she fell asleep :):) That is something that made me feel better.
On one of the days, she was making noise. Since she couldn't speak, she could only make noises. So we all didn't know what happened. It was when my uncle told me that i know that she was in pain due to some injection earlier on. My goodness, i could barely find meat in her, how did they manage to inject. And that must have really hurt. And that really breaks my heart. Her cries, that was something that triggered my tears again. I really hope that she can feel peaceful and have no worries. She is always worrying about everything. I really really hope that there is less suffering for her and she can feel more at ease. A nice lady like her shouldn't be suffering so much :'(

I really really admire my uncle. He spends almost 24hrs in the hospital looking after her everyday! The only time that he is not there would be when he goes home for a shower. After that, he will rush back to look after her. I know its not easy. Not only its physically draining, its also mentally draining. I really really admire his patience, perseverence, care and concern shown for her. He is really a very nice guy. I have to admit that i might not even have the energy/patience/determination. I really must learn from him. I really really wish that someone will look after him. Help him ease his burden in everyway.

From this trip, i have seen what is true love. Its not only applicable to bgr, its also to kinship. This perseverence is really remarkable. I really really learnt a lot. Also, i realised that there are a lot of problems that many faced today are really insignificant as compared to what my uncle has to face. He is really great. Despite all those problems, he is still continuing, moving on and thinking of ways to solve those nerve-wrecking peorblems. He never gives up. I really must learn from him. I guess, it really serves as a motivation for me. There are alot of setbacks that many face which kinda bring them down. But i guess, we should really learn from this remarkable uncle of mine. His perseverence! His care and concern shown for his family! His selflessness!

I really really hope that someone will appear to ease his burden...
Uncle, kudos to u!! :D:D:D

Uni life...

2011-09-07T14:58:00.002+08:00

Uni life, super super hectic!!! OMG!! I'm so gg to K ttm in december...miss baking with friends, miss chilling out with them, miss AJ life! Seriously! At least the teachers, the O1s are more fun!! Miss those gossping aka karma days...hahahah :):) Everyone is like happier :D:D

Now, everyone is like ultra busy and ultra stress. haha...even xxxxxx :( Arghhhh...

i hope that everyone will start finding joy in whatever they are doing and regain their happy self :D:D

We must stay happy people!! :D:D hehe...jia you alright :D

The new chapter...

2011-08-16T12:33:00.004+08:00

When we were young, we always or at least, i will always look forward to uni life. I would be thinking that uni students are so cool and smart and all. :):) But well, when i am one myself, i guess it doesn't really feel THAT impressive. Maybe university grads/undergrads are everywhere. So, it doesn't appear to be as impressive anymore.

At first, i was rather worried for uni life. What if i can't blend in? What if the people i meet are all people who go clubbing ALL THE TIME? What if... haha, i guess maby of us will have such worries when we enter a new environment. Thankfully, the people whom i know are still kinda of a similar frequency to me. At least they don't club EVERYDAY or behave like some bimbs. hahahaa :P:P

Still, my course is a really hectic one. Trying to catch up with all the modules. I am learning bio!! OMG!!! I have not touched it for ages. It is like sooooo foreign to me. The scarier thing, everyone ior at least most of them seem like they understand what the profs are talking about. They are freaking smart :( i nid to jia you jia you!! But, its ok. :) Whenever i think of the new lappie my mum bought for me and all the $$$ she spent on me to ensure that i can survive in uni, i will be motivated to study :) hehe... I love my family :D:D Thanks dears :D

Sry yy, our busy life are kinda overwhelming. But, i kinda enjoy this busy yet fruitful life :) We will have lots to share on our next meeting :) Dun miss me too much :P:P And i am happy seeing you enjoying ur current life too :) I think you are like super active. haha...cca. main comm, and dance class? OMG!! JY! :D

Uni?

2011-07-05T15:56:00.005+08:00

I guess we are all entering uni very very soon. Like in 3 weeks time? Its a brand new start in a brand new environment and ppl. To be honest, new environment can be rather scary. No one knows what will happen. Having mixed feelings. Excited to enter a brand new life , to widen my knowledge, widen my social circle and experience new things :) At the same time, it is really the uncertainty that scares me. zzz...it always happens when i have to adapt to a brand new life.
Whatever it is, i guess i will just have to take whatever that comes along. Yea...some ppl says that uni life is more relaxing than jc life. Apparently, there are a lot of uni students who totally disagree with this statement. hahaaa... Well, i guess i will have to experience it for myself to know if it is true. :D:D

JiaYou to my brand new life!! :D:D